Back in October I was diagnosed with a torn labrum in my right shoulder and was told I would need to have surgery to fix it. Since then my performance goals have gradually been pushed further and further into the back of my head. I’ve been doing lots of basic strength training since then revolving around shoulder presses, pull-ups, DB external rotations and some isolation work. It seems to be paying off as I have less and less pain as time goes on.
This time last year I was gearing up for the Opens having 12 months of solid training under my belt and was in the best shape of my life from a performance standpoint. Between Feb 14 and 20th last year I hit 2 Squat Cleans @285 , Power Snatched 225, did 20 muscle ups for time in 2:01 and a couple other things. Looking back through my blog and all the numbers def makes me a little nostalgic but at the same time I’m very happy with where I am at the moment.
Priorities in life are always changing and even though my recent hiatus was somewhat forced I am grateful for the time it game me to reflect on the path my life is taking.
For 7 years my life revolved around my performance all in relation to the numbers. Now that I’ve come full circle my goals are solely towards being healthy and pain free.
This week was the first time I’ve done anything really CrossFitty in months and it felt great.
Yesterday I did:
5 rounds – couple mins rest in between each
10 Pullups – did a few sets strict unbroken and some 5 strict and 5 kipping
50 Double Unders – foot is feeling good
20 GHD situps
I played around with a couple of strict muscle ups and they felt good. My shoulder is def still a little achey, I def still have the injury but it’s manageable. My ankle kills pretty much all the time and takes a good 15-20mins in the morning to stop throbbing EVERY DAY and I can live with that without complaining so fuck it. We all have our shit to deal with right?
Watching videos like the above makes me want to get back to that point again BUT I am in no rush what so ever. I will take my time and see what happens.
Up in Maine for the weekend hanging out with family I haven’t seen in a while. Really nice to see everyone.
Trip to Cali next weekend for more Ballon jumps!
Awesome week. I’m officially back in the swing of coaching, working out myself, up at 4am reading, and just feeling lots of gratitude for everything that comes my way.
I read two books in the past week. One was titled – Daring Greatly and the other – Outwitting the Devil. Both of them came at a perfect time for me.
“Daring Greatly dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.”
Pretty much my whole life I’ve tried to hide my vulnerability from others. I tend to seek out activities that scare me in an attempt to escape vulnerability and eventually break free from it. I made an effort to hide my feelings about a lot of things as I would get upset when I heard others complain about stuff. I wanted people to think I was fearless, bulletproof and that nothing could phase me. In reality it’s my ability to constantly put myself out there that actually gives me the courage that I’ve been seeking. I’m always scared. I’m scared every time I give a talk. I’m scared before some sessions with my clients. I’m scared everytime I enter a competition. I’m scared every time I meet someone new. I’m scared every time I get into a plane knowing I’m going to jump out of it. I constantly put myself into vulnerable situations which can result in failure and that is exactly why I succeed.
In my quest for self mastery I’m becoming more and more aware that for me it’s all about the search. I’m not trying to find the end point, the perfect program, philosophy, mentor, or permanent solution to rid myself of the fear. I continue to seek out more and more and more in an attempt to never stop progressing.
As Susan Jefferes puts it in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway – “The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow”
Outwitting the Devil has been on my shelf for months and I don’t know what compelled me to pick it up this week but it was the perfect complement to Daring Greatly.
The book is based on an interview Napoleon Hill held with the Devil himself. The reader is encouraged to make your own decision on weather or not this was an imaginary event created by Hill or if it actually took place. Regardless of your own interpretation this book is AMAZING and was WAY ahead of its time.
Apparently it was written in the 1930′s and Hill’s family only gave permission for it to be published in 2011 due it’s controversial content. Napoleon Hill is famous for his book ‘Think and Grow Rich’. That was one of the first books I read which inspired me to open my gym. I remember reading it when I used to work at CrossFit Newton and take the bus out there everyday.
The Devil represents everything that can be perceived as negative in the world. The interview revolves around 7 principles which you need to make a part of your life in order to not live in fear and subordination.
The two books fit together really well and hammer home the concepts of:
- Have a vision for exactly how you want your life to look.
- Become a master of your emotions and ask yourself challenging questions constantly.
- Learn from adversity and how you only actually fail at something when you quit.
- If you don’t make things happen then things will happen to you. Be proactive v.s reactive.
- Time is your most precious commodity.
- Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success.
Obviously all of the above points can be deeply elaborated on and I encourage anyone reading this to check out the books if you have any interest.
The last point was very significant for me personally. In a previous post I had written something to the effect of ‘It’s easy to be grateful when things are going your way but the real challenge is being grateful when things are stacked against you.’ This quote was huge for me in the past week when I was dealing with a lot of personal insecurities surrounding self worth and similar head trash.
What I’ve found is that the more I am willing to open up to others and show my true self the more others are willing to do the same and thats extremely encouraging for me to continue down this road.
I got back in the wind tunnel last week. First time in there since October and I was def a little rusty. I got an action packed year ahead of me between skydiving and BASE trips so lots of footage to come.
I’ve been learning Head Down flying in the tunnel most recently. It’s extremely difficult. In the video below you can see me getting off the net unassisted for the first time. I know I will look back on this video in a few years and laugh at it but now it’s a big accomplishment for me.
It’s funny to watch cause it really doesn’t look that impressive but it’s taken me 11 hours in the tunnel to get to this point and I’m actually considered to be a relatively quick learner.Keep in mind that you have to fly on your belly, back, and sitting upright before you even begin trying head down. Each of the above take quite a while to get the hang of.
Anyways the other night I was getting extremely frustrated and wanted to quit. The rotations work in 90sec intervals. You go in for 90sec, out for 90sec and do that for 30mins. During one rest period I started checking out saying things like ‘fuck it, on the next one just go in and do what you’re already good at.’ Then another voice came in and said ‘just when you are about to quit is usually the moment where you are about to succeed’ – Sure enough on the next rotation I got up.
This story seems so insignificant but resonates a lot with me. You can apply that concept to everything in life. I’ve had situations like that happen in various different areas and more often than I would like to admit I have quit. Repeating on the above – You only fail if you quit. Don’t quit.
I got the pin out of my foot a week ago and have since been off crutches and now back in regular shoes. Every day gets a little better but full recovery is going to take a while.
Taking something like walking across the room for granted is something that is easy to do. Over the years I’ve spend 40 weeks of my life on crutches between injuries and surgeries etc. Each time I’ve vowed to never take the simple things in life for granted and each time I get a little more consistent at it. Spending that amount of time unable to walk has forced me constantly try and look for the positive in a seemingly all negative situation, but the more I learn about human behavior the more I see that everything is just about perspective. If you take the time to ask the right questions you’ll see that there is no negative without positive, everything is in perfect balance. If you don’t believe that statement then you are likely not taking the time to ask yourself those questions.
One of the things I’ve stayed on top of is keeping a gratitude journal. Yesterday was Day 38. Each morning when I get up I write ‘Today I had the opportunity to…’ and then I list out everything that happened during the day that I am grateful for. Sometimes I have to sit there for a while and think hard as I forget a lot of things. It’s likely more efficient to do this at the end of the day but it’s a start for me. It’s pretty easy to list the positive things throughout the day but the challenge has been listing things that were negative, or seemingly negative until I balanced my perception of it. Things like equipment breaking at the gym, or someone canceling their membership, getting in an argument with someone, having to spend more money on something than I would like, having to tape a bag to my foot to shower etc. These are all things that when I take the time to sit down and ask myself ‘how was this situation beneficial to me?’ that the answers start to roll in. As the days tick by my ability to balance situations is getting faster and more efficient. It’s like training a muscle, the more you do it, the easier it gets. A lot of times I’m actually able to balance whatever happens as it happens which saves me a lot of head trash, stress, and wasted energy.
Having said that I understand that challenging situations will never go away. The situations I get to deal with (not have to deal with) will just get more complex. I view it as levels in a video game that never ends. Sometimes you think you beat a level but the moment you become complacent or cocky about it, sure enough something happens to knock you back on your ass. The game will never end and the only way to lose is to think you’ve won.
Over the past 4-5 weeks I’ve maintained some consistency with working out but I’m only fully back in the swing this week. Eating shitty food (pizza, donuts, bagels, pad thai, burrito’s) and no desire to get sweaty was a long battle but I made it through.
I own a gym and I’m opening another one. My world revolves around personal development and strategies to empower myself in every area of life. Taking a couple weeks off to reset and recover from surgery is not a big deal in the scheme of things. I have no timeline ahead of me so theres no need to be stressed about it.
Anyways, I’ve been very foundational with the structure of my workouts. Push-ups, Pull-ups, and Sit-ups for the most part. I’ve thrown in some variation with pulling and pushing but mostly sticking to the basics. I did hit 18 strict supinated pull-ups yesterday which is a lifetime PR. There we go with another positive from this whole thing My shoulder has been pretty good but I haven’t pushed it at all really so it’s hard to tell. If I do have surgery on it I can safely say that it won’t be until next winter so until then I’ll have to deal with potentially not doing anything super dynamic like burpees, kipping pull-ups, muscle-ups etc. This is another area I’ve balanced perceptions in and I’m totally at peace with it. Instead of dwelling on the things I can’t do I’m just focussing on all the trips, courses, and weddings I get to do this year.
My inspiration grows daily and my life is unfolding exactly how I’m planning it to.
I get the pin out of my toe on Wednesday and I’m uber excited! The past month has been filled with challenges and admittedly I have had a tough time with some of them but as with everything you make it through.
I’m feeling re-inspired after an awesome talk with my coach and a couple awesome consults with my clients. Sara also had a really good experience last weekend at the Breakthrough. Pretty much all our conversations now revolve around human behavior which is awesome. Our relationship continues to grow and the depth of things we talk about also continues to deepen. I’m very grateful to have her to bounce ideas with all this stuff.
I did 7 consults at the gym in the past week which is huge. November and December are usually pretty slow business wise so it’s been a really good start to the year. I’m looking forward to getting back into the flow of things. I’ve had a tough time trying to be healthy and continuing to workout the past few weeks but I know that it will all come back fast. Today marks the return of my discipline to working out and not eating carbs all day long .
This past Friday was my birthday and I was contacted by a lot of people near and far which was really cool. 29 big ones down. I’m looking forward to all the fun that the next 29 will bring. Crazy to even think was I was doing just 5 years ago. I wonder what I be doing in 5. Whatever it is I know it will be exactly what I want to be doing.
Danny and Josiah were 2 guys I spent a lot of time with when I lived in NZ. They were arguably my best friends over there. We all have the same birthday so I always try and talk to them every year. I’d love to celebrate a birthday with them again at some point in time.
This photo was from 2009 on our birthday.
It’s been 2 weeks since I had foot surgery. I have a pin in one of my toes that needs to stay there for another 2 weeks. This means that I’m pretty much confined to my house most of the time. I know it’s going to be a long road back but I’m looking forward to every step of it.
Especially since it will mean I can get my ass back to California and get more footage like this:
For now my typical routine of getting up early to study, coaching for a few hours, working out myself, then attending to one of the many daily things that seem to arise has been completely turned upside down. When the above routine becomes – wake up at 6:30am and sit in bed for the day it’s easy to get sucked into thinking about all the things I can’t do at the moment.
It’s a daily battle but I’m focussing my attention on all the things I can do.
One of the daily habits I’m slowly but surely making a part of my life is sitting down in the morning and planning out what I’m going to accomplish during the day, and sitting down again at night to acknowledge all of the things I am grateful for from the day. I wrote about this gratitude journal in a previous post.
Everything that happens within a given day that could cause elation or depression I attempt to find the balance within it and stay centered. Some days are better than others, and some situations are easier to think out of than others. I trust that will never change. I will simply be gifted with more difficult situations to help me continue to grow.
In the last week there was a couple of times where I would start to beat myself up about not spending as much time studying as I usually do when I have all this extra free time on my plate. My reading has slowed to a crawl and my procrastination seems to keep growing. Then I took a second to look at my actions a little more objectively.
- I haven’t been studying as much but I gave a talk on Monday night to over 50 people summarizing everything I’ve been studying for the past year. That talk took a lot of preparation in terms of practicing, writing, thinking, and studying.
- I’ve had some amazing insightful talks with Sara every night for the past week on human behavior.
- I’ve talked with each one of my staff members on a variety of different topics all relating back to human behavior
- I’ve connected with old friends again and tied it all back to the work I’ve been studying
- I’ve been in touch with my own personal coach who continues to challenge me in new ways every time we speak.
I could go on and on. My point is that no matter what happens you, you can find benefits and positives if you take the time to look hard enough instead of dwelling on the negative.
The following quote I came across this past week is very fitting to my point:
Last week I took out my calendar and mapped out the year. It’s awesome how far ahead I have certain things planned. As the old saying goes “Failing to plan is planning to fail”
At the moment I currently have 10 trips planned which are all nicely balanced between business and pleasure.
I like to be in control of what happens in my life in as much detail as possible. I’m a firm believer that if you don’t plan something out for yourself someone else will do it for you.
I’m content with how everything is at the moment in every area of my life BUT I have clear goals and direction that I intend on fulfilling to the best of my ability.
Sara is off to Demartini’s Breakthrough Experience this weekend. I’m excited to hear all about it next week.
The photo below is from my workbook where I spent 9 hours balancing traits within myself that I first completely denied even existed. I’m very curious to see if Sara has as much of an awakening as I had at the course.