While its extremely difficult for me to put into words what I experienced this past weekend I’m going to attempt to.
I feel more inspired, present and grateful than ever before for everything in my life.
On Friday before the course I set my goals of
“confronting my deepest fears, owning my dark side, and accepting the balance in every situation“
They were all achieved to levels I didn’t think was possible. The two main things I am taking away are:
1- Everyone lives their life in accordance with their highest values.
Your life demonstrates this. If you do not think you do then you are either lying to yourself or are simply not aware of it consciously.
People do what they want to do and prioritize things in order of importance to them.
This has nothing to do with motivation. It has everything to do with inspiration.
You need to be motivated to do things that you think you should, ought, need or have to do. You don’t need motivation to do the things you choose, love, or desire to do.
I don’t need to be motivated to get up and study every day, or sign up for another course, or go to work. I do all those things because those are my highest values and no one needs to stay on my back about them. We all have those things, a lot of times people just don’t give themselves permission to do them because of the shoulda, woulda, couldas.
Everything that you do serves you to some extent and drives you towards accomplishing your mission otherwise you wouldn’t being doing it. It’s as simple as that.
Everyones values are finger print specific, there is no right or wrong, just different, and everyone needs to be respected for that reason.
2- There are no one sided events in life. EVERYTHING is in perfect balance.
There are no positives without negatives, no support without challenge, no pain without pleasure, no grief without relief, no curse without a blessing etc.
It’s easy to feel gratitude and love when things appear to be going the way you want them to but the challenge lies in being able to feel that way when things are not working out as planned. Coincidently these are often the times that result in the most growth.
I have read a lot of stuff on the above topic over the past few months and I thought that I understood the concept but I didn’t really feel it until this weekend.
I spent nine hours straight working on traits that I initially despised in people and at the end I was able to see that I possessed the EXACT same traits to the EXACT same degree as the person I was initially resentful towards for that trait. Take note – nine hours straight. This was no easy task and I dealt with a lot of resistance initially because I was unwilling to acknowledge that I had those traits inside me. I was eventually able to open up after working with the staff who were relentless in ensuring that every attendee had a breakthrough.
This method can work for any situation, on any person, or any trait in existence. Above I used the example of traits that I resented but it works the opposite way as well. If you take someone you look up to you can take the traits or behaviors that you admire and are able to neutralize them and see that you are no worse or better than ANYONE else, you simply have a different set of values where you choose to apply those traits. When you realize this you are able to then play at the same level as them.
The video below was in response to one of the attendees asking: ‘How can you say that the Dali Lama is not more Spiritual than me when his life is devoted to it?’
Parts of me that I was initially proud of, I was able to neutralize and equally parts of me that I was ashamed of I was able to do the same.
With this revelation I was able to release all infatuation and resentment I had for whatever the trait was, own it as part of me, and feel love and gratitude for it.
- I saw a woman who’s father had died three weeks prior who was initially in tears grieving become thankful for the event and was laughing within the course of an hour saying she was grateful for him dying and can now she that her life is actually better as a result.
- I had people balling crying in my arms after having released all resentment towards someone in their life who abandoned and physically abused them.
- I went through a lot of personal stuff which I’m choosing not to share publicly but I also cried tears of gratitude several times over the weekend and released a lot of repressed feelings I didn’t even know where there.
For those of you who know me I understand that the above few sentences may seem a little out there. My goal here is to not try and convince anyone of anything, it’s simply to attempt to explain what I went through. The methods that Dr Demartini uses are an exact science and he guarantees the result every time. He deals with every kind of case imaginable and is always able to turn the person around.
Clearing out your baggage is something that is no easy task and this weekend was by no means a destination point. It was simply another stepping stone as I continue on my mission of mastering my life. I have dedicated the past six years to physical transformation through the mediums of fitness and nutrition learning everything I can and attending courses on the subjects. The next step for me is to tie it all together by studying human behavior and in turn be able to help others on their personal journeys. Over the coming weeks, months, and years I will be devouring as much info as I can get my hands on about everything I just mentioned above and I will eventually be a master.
There are no ifs, and’s, buts, or maybes in what I have just said. I am already doing it and for me to do anything else is not an option.
My pursuit is relentless and my life will continue to unfold exactly how I plan it to.
This past week was a lot of fun. Lots of work and lots of play.
Everyday I do what I love and I’m forever grateful for that.
Tuesday and Thursday I got to the tunnel for more head down coaching. It’s really hard but gradually starting to come together. Saturday I got in 6 jumps which is a new record for me at Pepperell. Usually I’m luck to get 2 or 3 with how busy it gets along with the ever changing wind conditions.
I took this pic from my phone after opening at about 3,500ft. It’s beautiful but really doesn’t do it justice. Sunrise and sunset are def my favorite times of the day to jump.
This was my last day jumping in New England this season. I’m planning on going away one weekend a month over the winter to keep jumping so I can keep the progress going. I’m at 121 jumps now and my goal is to get to 200 by April. Def doable.
Shoulder is still junk. It hurts doing any physical activity. I was told that the MRI would take 5 business days to be cleared by my insurance and Friday was day 5 so I’m hoping to hear something this week.
I worked out yesterday (Sunday for the first time in what seemed like forever)
A. Back Squat 15-5-15-5-15-5 – 3min
15@95, 5@185, 15@115, 5@205, 15@135, 5@235
All felt good – didn’t want to push it too much and not be able to walk for the week. Even this had me out of breath and feeling uncomfortable. I initially thought that slip really quickly but it’s been almost 5 weeks since I did a ‘real workout’
B. Tabata Situps – 13, 13, 11, 10, 10, 9, 10, 9 – Average = 10
I may be injured but I’m crushing my research and study at the moment. Getting up at 4 and reading for 2 hours before starting work. I’ve finished 3 books in the last week. I say finished at I have 11 books next to my desk that I have either just started or am half way through etc.
The newest topic to get a handle on is my finances. I’ve never taken the time to really educate myself on investing and proper money management so thats the new quest.
Dr Demartini is my most recent mentor in a sense and I’m going to learn everything he has to offer. I’m going to his personal transformation weekend in Denver this coming weekend so really excited for that.
Heres a short clip of him talking about Values.
This past Monday was a holiday so after a few hours of coaching I managed to get a few jumps in. The last of which was an 11 way (most I’ve done) and it was a total shit show. It was one of the guys 100th jump so we all decided to try and form a big round which is basically where everyone just makes a big circle holding hands – awwwwwww
Anyways, it didn’t work out and people were all over the place. It once again slapped me in the face of how dangerous things can get. Having someone even lightly bump into you when you are both falling at 120mph is a good dose of reality!
When I opened my chute I looked up at saw the picture below. Line Twists! The picture below is not me (wasn’t wearing my camera) but its exactly at what I was looking up at. Lucky we go over and over what to do during certain malfunctions and I did what I had to do. Held on tight and kicked by legs in the opposite direction of the twist until it spun around and released just like on a swing set.
It was scary but in the moment I knew what I had to do and did it. I’m confident that should I experience another malfunction at some point (I’m sure I will) that I’ll be able to do the same.
The video below is my new favorite BASE video to watch. I’ve replayed it countless times over the past week or so. The quality of video (make sure you watch in HD) as well as the skill of the jumpers is so awesome.
I hope you can all appreciate it.
Worked out yesterday which actually didn’t hurt my shoulder which was nice change.
A1. 10 Back Squats – 95-115-135-155-185
A2. 10 Windshield wipers
- Shoulder is still fucked and seems to get worse rather than better. After jumping the other day it was really sore that evening – had difficulty pulling the bed covers over me!
BUT at the same time I’m crushing reading and studying at the moment. Just finished Malcom Gladwells new book – David and Goliath - good message but it got very repetitive. I am usually the first to recommend a book I like and I’ll save you all the trouble of reading this one with this one sentence: Sometimes positive things come out of situations which are first perceived as negative and vice versa.
Reading Demartini’s Count Your Blessings would be much more worth your time.
- Last but certainly not least today is my 4 year wedding anniversary. Time just flies by. This week was also my gyms 3 year anniversary so the week has been filled with reasons to be thankful for all the blessings that have come my way.
I went to a shoulder specialist last Friday. He did 5 tests on my shoulder and they all pointed towards a SLAP tear aka torn labrum. I won’t know for sure until I get an MRI which is going to take at least a week to get scheduled so it’s not going to be anything quick.
I have periods of time where it feels ok and I think its all in my head but then I do anything physical and it gets aggravated. Right now I’m just focusing on the things I can do instead of sitting around complaining about it and feeling sorry for myself. Injuries are simply opportunities to shift focus elsewhere.
For every thing I can’t do there is equally something I can.
My fitness goals are just going to take a back seat for a while.
I worked out on Saturday evening -
5 rounds of
10 Deadlifts 135-185-205-225-245
15-20 GHD Situps
1-2 mins rest in between
Even this aggravated my shoulder afterwards.
Got three jumps in on Sunday. The first was right at sunrise which was sick. Wish I had gotten a shot of the view but I wasn’t wearing my camera. Its recommended that you have 200 skydives before you start jumping with a camera and some dropzones are stricter than others about it. My home DZ is one of the stricter places so I’ll adhere to protocol while there.
Bust week planned as always with work,play,and study as always. My updates will likely be pushed back to one a week or so moving forward until I have anything of merit to post.
I appreciate all of you who have reached out to me recently in relation to my injury and lack of posts.
Got back from Arizona + Vegas late Sunday night.
Awesome trip. I was and still and kinda sick which put a little damper on everything but I did what I had to do
My last day in AZ I actually tweaked my knee doing Back Squats so physically I’m a mess at the moment. After going back and forth with my coach we’ve decided that I take a complete rest from training until I find out whats going on. I have an appointment to see a shoulder specialist on Friday so thats the next move.
It’s gotten to the point that I now have a dull ache all the time so it’s tough to remain optimistic about what the verdict will be but either way I’ll deal with it.
Even though my training and body seem to be a mess at the moment I’m actually very content with how everything is. Work is great, and with all the self education I’ve been doing recently I feel very centered. I can handle anything that comes my way.
As the year comes to a close I’m starting to both reflect on this year and plan what I’m going to do next year. Big things are going to happen for me on all fronts and I’m excited to continue to embrace the daily struggles as I progress.
Here’s a raw video from my 101st jump. I got a lot of footage from my trip but I’m saving it all for a project I’m working on.
I guess it’s time for an update.
I’ve been out here in Arizona since Sunday. I’m here till Friday then I go to Vegas to party for the weekend.
When I landed on Sunday I had a sore throat and that turned into a horrible sinus infection that lasted right up to now (Wednesday). I’ve felt like shit but I was determined to not let it dictate my trip so I got as much stuff from the pharmacy as I could without a prescription and just dealt with it. I also went to Planed Fitness last night to use the sauna to sweat it out which helped a little. This morning I felt well enough to workout so I went back to PF and did some upper body stuff. Nothing worth listing out as I was out of breath after 5 pullups –
Did 5 jumps Monday, 4 on Tuesday, and 4 today. Brings my total up to 103. Tomorrow will be my last day jumping out here so hopefully I’ll get another 4 or 5 in.
I’ve had lots of time out here to read and reflect on how my life is shaping and I’m getting deeper and deeper into the state of gratitude I was talking about in my last post.
I’ve also realized that a week is too long to be away. I like going away but I also love the hustle of my day to day. One of my tattoos reads “Create a life you don’t need to escape from” and I feel like I have done just that.
I keep getting emails from people saying ‘sorry to bother you while you are on vacation’ and I guess it’s normal because for a lot of people a vacation is an escape from their day to day. I’m extremely fortunate and grateful that that is not my case. I LOVE having all those emails to respond to everyday and I need to always remember that. I think I would go crazy without it.
Even though I am ‘on vacation‘ I viewed this trip as me coming to get as many jumps in as possible and then then taking the weekend to have some fun.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m having a great time just jumping out of planes all day, I just like having the balance of work/play as well.
As the old saying goes ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’.
I’m looking forward to getting back to Sara, CRAIC, and my dog.
In a book I read a while back there was an exercise that I did which was to write your own personal mission statement. I went to re-read it today and decided I would make it public. As my life progresses, and I continue to grow in every aspect of the word I will update it and repost revised versions.
First Draft 08/06/13
I hereby declare before myself and others that my primary purpose in life is to live each day to the fullest.
I do this by surrounding myself with people who both challenge and support me, and by doing activities that I enjoy.
I am constantly educating myself and have an unrelenting desire to absorb as much knowledge as my brain will allow on the subjects that most interest me.
I acknowledge that there is a blessing in every crisis and I do not get upset about difficulties or elated about opportunities.I remain centered no matter what happens.
I do not judge anyone for their beliefs or actions.
I will not let any person, place, thing, idea, or event stop me from accomplishing my dreams because that is what life is about.
Life is a gift. Thank you.
I’m reading a book at the moment called ‘Count Your Blessings’ and it’s based on the concept of seeing everything in your life as a blessing in some way or another.
“Blessings have nothing to do with so called luck. They result from your thoughts, words, and actions.”
I usually associate the word blessing with people thinking that whatever they are referring to came about because of luck or because of someone else’s generosity. I like the above explanation of it much better.
Everything that you do has a positive and negative outcome in some way. Even things that seem amazing have down sides and even horrific events have upsides. Being able to accept both as they come into your life and remain centered is the battle. Recently I’ve been trying to flip my thoughts towards how it benefits me when I first perceive something as negative and vice versa.
Yesterday I was presented with a very challenging situation and at first I was thinking ‘how do I get out of this?’ and had lots of negativity in my mind about it. I then thought ‘wait a second, how can this situation benefit me?’ – I then started to think about how dealing with the situation would help me deal with similar situations in the future and I actually got excited thinking about solutions to the event in question and was genuinely grateful for the opportunity to be able to deal with it.
There have been several major events in my life where I feel like I have been able to see the positive side of things when something negative happened but it kind of happened without me giving it much thought. For whatever reason it was just built into me. I used to think that it was kind of a defense mechanism to block out the bad but now I’m starting to realize that I was just acknowledging the good along with the bad. This is the natural order of things if you choose to accept it or not. Where ever there is challenge their is support, pleasure and pain, success and failure, joy and sorrow, blessings and drawbacks. One simply cannot exist without the other.
I feel that this new level of awareness is going to really help me in how I view all situations moving forward.
I felt like I needed to do some upper body today so I did some basic stuff
A1. 10 BP@135
A2. 10 Pullups
B1. 10 DB SP@30lb – kept light
B2. 10 Ring rows
My low back and hamstrings were wrecked today from the Deads 2 days ago. I ended up not being able to do anything I had initially planned. I did all the movements, just couldn’t push it. My back was still really sore for the rest of the day afterwards – not hurt, just sore
- couple sets of hang squat cleans @225
- 5 sets of 8 back squats @135- even this was killing me
- 5 sets of 10 OHS@95
Off to Arizona tomorrow for a week skydiving!
Shoulder still giving me a daily issue – Got the referral and going to see a specialist when I get back from AZ.
A. Power clean; build to a max
Few reps at 115 then 135, 185, 205, 225, 245, 275, 285-miss, 285 – think its a new PR.
B. Deficit deadlift 2-3×5; rest 3 min
worked up to 315 – standing on a 45lb plate
C. Good morning 10-12×5; rest 90 seconds
did 2 sets @95lb and felt something tweak in my hamstring so I stopped. I felt it a few times the rest of the day as well.
D. GHD sit ups; 12 unbroken x6; rest 90 seconds
Today was one of those workouts that I fear more than a lot of things.
15sec AD Sprint – rest 2:45 x12
rest 5min between 4 and 5 and 8 and 9
1- 31cals – .23 miles
2- 23cals – .19
3- 19cals – .18
4- 20cals – .17
5- 15cals – .16
6- 16cals – .16
7- 17cals – .16
9- 18cals – .16
10- 16cals – .15
11- 19cals – .17
12- 20cals – .17
The video below is from the first sprint
Rolling around on the floor between sets questioning my life and wondering why I put myself through such things.
As always I felt good afterwards.
I bit the bullet today and started the process of getting my shoulder looked at. It’s pretty much sore all the time now. Picking up basic shit hurts which isn’t a good sign.
Time will tell